Leia's Ghosts
by Jaina Durron
Summary: Leia takes her own trip through the Lake of Apparitions. I didn't think it was fair that Luke got to talk to Anakin and Jacen, so now I'm giving Leia her moments to talk to some of her ghosts.
1. Part One

**AN:** So, for the most part, I abided to the rules of the Lake of Apparitions (from FOTJ; Abyss) for this one-shot, but- come one! This is fanfiction, so, long live my own maniacal ideas! So, who can go through the Lake of Apparitions- I wrote it correctly. Who you can visit there- not so much.

* * *

As Luke had warned, the mists hung heavy in the long, ominous cave. Drifting around her ankles, clouding her vision of the wet, soggy ground, Leia was extra careful as she took each step. _The Mists of Forgetfulness_ , she remembered her nephew calling these mists. The name was ominous enough, but Leia's danger-sense wasn't letting up and it took all her will to push the fear far enough from her mind to concentrate.

"How far was it?" Leia asked, keeping her eyes ahead. "Are we getting any closer?"

Her brother gave a small sigh, following close behind her, watching all her steps. "If you haven't noticed already, it's difficult to keep track of distance in here. And time."  
Leia straightened. "I wasn't sure if that was just me or . . . "

"No," Luke assured her. "This place is just as eery as it seems. Be careful."

"I should suggest the same to you. Ben told me you nearly fell into the river."

"Yeah," was all that Luke responded with at first. "Just . . . be careful."

Leia gulped, perturbed by the solemn quality to her brother's voice. She kept going, though. Leia couldn't be sure which ghosts of her past they would come to visit, but, regardless, she was anxious to see them again. She had so many last words for so many lost loved ones. She'd been over-the-moon thrilled at the idea of taking her own trip through the Lake of Apparitions and even more so when Luke had quickly agreed to take her. That had surprised her. Perhaps, she thought, he figured it would do her some good in healing as his trip through the endless cave had done for him. Whatever the reason, Leia was just thankful that he was taking her. And, now, here they were.

Leia had done her own sort of planning before heading off. She'd known she wouldn't be able to take this journey on her own and had added her daughter Jaina to her support team in addition to her brother. Of course, she'd yearned to bring Han with her for so many reasons, but, as Luke had explained, only Force-sensitives could make this journey. He'd be there when she got back, though, Leia reminded herself. Then, after whatever happened on this side of the Force, Han would be back home, ready to soothe and comfort her.

"Wait. So, are they ghosts or not?" Jaina asked, peering around cautiously, trailing close behind her uncle.

"Ben and I were never sure," Luke answered with a shake of his head. "I still don't know. Ben and I could only agree that it was definitely them."

"I believe you." Leia's voice came out in a whisper. Her eyes had been carefully searching lake and now they had caught sight of something. No. _Someone._ Okay, it was two people, their heads drifting just below the surface of the lake. Their eyes were closed, but Leia still recognized them.

Somehow.

It was so odd. It had been years, _decades,_ since Leia had seen them. But she still recognized the faces of her parents.

Immediately, at the sight of them, Leia jumped back and Luke was quick to throw out an arm and grab her before she could fall and be lost forever. Jaina quickly took a spot right behind her.

Leia was hardly aware of any of this, though. Her gaze was stuck on the floating images of the only parents she had ever known. At once, her eyes filled with tears. She covered her mouth with her hands, too stunned, too mystified to do anything more. Her chest heaved with sobs and, at that moment, she wanted to both fall into her brother's arms and run from this place and never come back as well as stay, soak in this picture, spend weeks here. Her mind couldn't decide what to do and it was Luke who acted on her behalf. He gave her a gentle push forward, saying, "I know you want to talk to them. It's okay. You don't have to. Are you ready?'

Leia shook her head, closing her eyes.

"Mom," Jaina quietly said, laying a hand on her mother's shoulder.

"I need to," Leia managed, tears pooling down her face. "I need to!"

"All you have to do is say their names," Luke reminded her.

Leia nodded, slowly lowering herself to a knee. Jaina stepped back, but Luke remained close by. Leia tucked her hair behind her ears, stared at the images a moment longer, then mustered all the strength she had and said in a quivery, yet strong voice, "Mama. Papa."

Eyelids snapped open to reveal warm brown irises and their faces floated above the water so their lips just broke the surface. Both Breha and Bail Organa's gazes found Leia immediately and they smiled the warmest smiles. Leia missed those smiles. It had been far too long. Tears filled Bail Organa's eyes and he spoke first, his voice gurgling slightly as he said so softly, "Lelila."

Leia's hands returned to her mouth and she couldn't yet manage words for the father she so dearly missed. She took a deep, quivering breath, then managed one simple word. "Daddy."

Bail's smile transformed into a beam and he repeated, "Lelila. My dear Lelila." His eyes wandered over his daughter and he added, "Has it really been so long?"

Breha laughed and Leia quickly looked to her mother. "Why, look at you," she said, her eyes alight. "All grown up. We knew you would make it! We knew you couldn't really be dead. You're a fighter."

"I'm here," Leia cried. "I'm still here."

Bail nodded. "And just as beautiful, my Lelila, as I remember. But your mother is right. Grown up. I can hardly stand it. Where did the years go?"

Leia smiled in bittersweet agreement. "I'm not sure, Papa," she said, finally managing to calm herself somewhat. "I've really missed you both."

"We know, dear," Breha said. "But please don't cry. There's no need for that. We've missed you, too, but this was a sacrifice we had seen coming. It was a sacrifice we were willing to make."

"I know. And for that, I'm eternally grateful, but that will never change how awful it was to lose Alderaan."

"We couldn't imagine it would," Breha said, shaking her head. "But, from the sights of it, a great many years have passed." A mischievous smile came to the mother's lips and Leia was sure she knew what was coming. "I don't suppose you've been left to yourself to mourn?"

Leia was right. She knew what her mother was trying to get at and she smiled back, reaching up with a hand to wipe her own tears. Then, she turned and motioned Jaina forward. As soon as she was within arm's length, Leia took her arm and pulled her down with her so Jaina was squatting beside her. "Mama, Papa, this is my daughter Jaina."

Breha and Bail smiled up at her, more tears filling their eyes until a few escaped. "How wonderful, Lelila! She certainly is yours. She looks just like you."

Bail added, "You should be proud."

Leia wrapped an arm around her daughter and nodded. "I am. . . . After I lost you both, it was these things that hurt the most. You would never get to share these memories with me like you were supposed to. It was the hardest thing, getting married without my own father giving me away, preparing for motherhood without the help of my own mother."

"And we wish more than anything that we could have been there," Breha assured her, looking so distraught herself as she shook her head in regret. "But we all must be honest. Would you even have these things if we'd been there, Lelila?"

"Mama, please don't say that!"

"Would you have such a beautiful daughter of your own if you'd stayed Alderaan? Even if we'd been spared, would you have any of this?"

Bail had caught sight of Luke and now he looked at him, a small smile on his mouth. Staring at him while he spoke to Leia, he said, "No. I don't think you would. And that's just fine. There was so much we could only give you. Everything else was yours to eventually find." He looked back to his daughter. "I assume you know the truth about your lineage?"

Shortly, Leia nodded.

"Then you know that we are right. I am glad you have found the truth and I hope you have lived well with it. If you know the truth, then it led you to your brother." Leia glanced up at Luke. Bail continued. "And only he could have helped lead you to the destiny that is rightfully yours. And only you could do the same for him."

Leia nodded again. "You're right. And it was when we first met that I started on the path that led me here. I just wish things could have been like this, but better."

Breha shook her head and also looked up to Luke. "Tell, dear. Does our Lelila have everything she deserves? A good man at her side that also fathered this fine young woman here?"

Luke chuckled, squatting down on Leia's other side. "I think you'd both approve of Han," he told them. "He is very protective of her."

Bail nodded once. "I like him already."

"And no one cares for Leia like he does."

Leia frowned comically. "A bit _too_ doting, I think."

The others all smiled, but Breha said, "Good. That's all we needed to know. Never forget, Leia. It doesn't matter if we've been right at your side these years or not. We're proud of you, dear. We always will be. Never forget how proud we are of you. Or how much we love you. Like our own, Lelila. We love you like our own."

Then, far too quickly, Bail and Breha disappeared back under the surface of the lake.

Again, the tears returned to Leia's eyes and she spun around to throw herself into her brother's arms. He took her in and held her just like she needed, whispering soft comforts in her ear. "It's okay," he told her. "You got your last words. They got their last words."

"I never thought I would get to tell them my last words," Leia cried.

Luke smiled softly. "But you did. And now you know. All these years when you wished for nothing more than to know what they thought about your life. They're still proud of you, Leia. They always have. They always will."


	2. Part Two

**AN:** Who else should Leia get to see again, hmmm?

Also, I wish I hadn't published this without the other half. That was stupid of me. Well, I've got it all here now! Please enjoy!

* * *

"Are you okay?" Jaina asked gently, touching a hand to her mother's arm. Leia turned to look at her daughter and nodded shortly. "Of course." Jaina dropped her chin, staring carefully at her like she wasn't going to buy it. Which she wasn't. "Mom," she said sternly, cautiously pulling her further away from where Breha and Bail Organa's images floated beneath the surface of the Lake of Apparitions. Slowly, as if she hoped her daughter wouldn't notice, Leia melted into Jaina's side. In any other circumstance, Jaina would have laughed, but her mother needed the comfort so she wrapped an arm around her mom's shoulders and pulled her close. "Are you ready to go-?"

"No!" Leia was quick to object, shaking her head vigorously. "No. I'm- I'm fine. I need to keep going." Her gaze wandered back to the lake, but ahead of where they stood. "I have a feeling . . . I need to keep going."

Jaina slowly pulled back her arm. "What _kind_ of feeling?" she asked cautiously.

Leia gave a small frown. "I . . . I-I'm not exactly sure. I just think . . . I feel like . . . "

"Leia?" Now Luke was watching her, too, only appearing slightly worried.

Leia suddenly straightened, her gait determined as she started walking forward again. "I just have a feeling," she repeated. Jaina hurried to keep up with her. "Mom! Wait! Where are you going?"

"Where do you think?"

"Leia! Hang on! Slow down! What are you looking for?"

Without even looking over her shoulder at her brother, Leia answered him with, "I think you mean 'who'."

"Okay. _Who_ are you looking for?"

Just as quickly as she had been going, Leia stopped dead in her tracks. She took a long breath, knelt again by the dark shore of the lake, and said deliberately, "Anakin."

* * *

At once, the image of a face with light blue eyes and sandy, tousled hair. His lips didn't stretch into a smile until his gaze settled on Leia and it was the kind of grin that seemed naturally cocky, though there was nothing to suggest that same cockiness in his demeanor at the moment. Merely, he was happy. His first words to Leia were, "My dear child."

Leia was faintly aware of her brother behind her, a quick gasp came from his mouth Then, he was on the moist ground, kneeling beside her. Though this _was_ supposed to be _her_ trip, Leia couldn't deny Luke this chance to speak with their father. Especially considering he was the one who had always felt connected to him. Even Leia still couldn't propose such a claim.

Anakin's head turned just slightly to look at Luke and his smile brightened. "Daughter and son both. How could I be so lucky?" he asked, surveying them both.

"Father," Luke beamed.

"Father," Leia said, acknowledging him and Luke nearly gasped again. Anakin turned his attention back to her specifically. "Leia," he responded. "You came here and you deliberately came to speak to me. To what evil of mine do I owe the favor?"

"None at all," Leia said, shaking her head once. "I just came. To speak with you."

"About what? I believe the last time I spoke to you-"

"I was quite angry and I didn't weigh your honest words much then. But you promised me that you would know when I changed my mind because you would be watching."

Anakin's smile returned and he glanced away for just a second, chuckling to himself. When he looked back to his daughter, he agreed, "And that I have. I am glad that you have forgiven me, Leia, and not because I wanted you to. I'm glad you could forgive me so you don't have to live with that darkness within yourself for the rest of your life. The dark side knows what could have happened to you."

"And I'm glad you gave me that chance," Leia responded in kind. "Now, with my trip here to the Lake of Apparitions, I was hoping to have another conversation with you now that I _have_ forgiven you."

"Of course, my child. Just as I have. As I promised, I've been watching over you, Leia, and I'm just as proud of you as the Organas could be." He dropped his gaze a second time as he continued, telling Leia, "And I'm proud of your son Anakin."

Leia smiled lightly, the memories coming back to her. "Yes. I am very proud of him, too. He did all that I had ever hoped he could do for your name and much more."  
"Yes," Anakin agreed. "So much more that I could ever put into words how sorry I feel."

Luke frowned. "I've been here before, Father," he said. "And I've spoken with my wife a few times. The first time, she told me she was reflecting here. Are you suffering as well?"

Anakin smiled at his son as she hook his head. "I was, Luke. A long time ago after we defeated Palpatine and I came here. I was in suffering, remembering all my actions. But, with Leia's forgiveness, I feel much better. Thank you, my children. Now," he said and his gaze suddenly shifted so he was looking above his children's crouched figures. "Jaina, my granddaughter, don't think I've forgotten about you."

Leia turned to look at her daughter whose eyes were wide with surprise and she shifted her stance, trying to regain her composure. "Me?" she asked, not betraying a hint of her surprise. "You want to talk to me?"

Again, Anakin chuckled. "Yes. Is there something wrong with that?"

"Absolutely not. I'm just . . ."

"Surprised. I know. See, Jaina, I wanted to tell you that I'm proud of you as well."

"Uhh . . . thank you?"

"Sword of the Jedi, huh? I've got to say, I think you got the better nickname."

"Ah! What was yours again?"

Anakin shrugged. "Chosen One. Not very original if you ask me."

Jaina gave a nervous laugh. "Hm! Well, being the Sword isn't all that's hyped up to be."

"I'm sure of it. In hindsight, I don't think I was the greatest Chosen One either. But that's what I was and you're the Sword and I think you're doing better than I did, so don't be too hard on yourself. I think your uncle and mother would agree that you've already done the hardest part."

Somehow, Leia knew that he was talking about Jacen and what Jaina had been forced to do to him. And, somehow, Leia could tell that Jaina knew too.

Solemnly, Jaina nodded, her chin dropped to her chest. "Yeah," she said, her voice sounding choked. "I think so."

"He thanks you for it, Jaina."

"Why?"

"It's simple, Jaina. I thank your uncle for it. And I suppose the Emperor deserves some credit too, huh?" He cracked a smile at his own joke but Leia was less than amused. "Anyway, Jaina, what you did was hard, but, perhaps, necessary. I know that you regret not waiting a second longer because of what you felt through the Force. Perhaps, it was true that Caedus had some humanity left, stored in his lover and daughter, but you did the right thing. Caedus had always cared for the queen and their daughter, but he was never going to stop haunting the rest of the galaxy. And now, he can live in peace here, free from his guilt because you still love him as well."

"I don't love Caedus," Jaina corrected, though Anakin already knew and he realized he could have stated his last words better. Jaina continued. "I love my brother. And I miss him."

Anakin nodded. "And you always will and this is how things should always be. It's better to miss Jacen than have Caedus alive still and have to deal with that. You truly did the right thing, Jaina, and your family knows it. Take comfort in them because I have been watching over you too. I know you're still suffering. So is your mother and father and uncle." Anakin's gaze returned to take all three of them in and he nodded once. "I think all that was needed to say has now been said. It is time for you to continue on, Leia." Anakin nodded his head to the side to gesture to the other side of the lake. "There are other loved ones waiting for you. Thank you for visiting me, my child."

"But I have so much more I want to tell you," Leia frowned.

In response, Anakin smiled. "I know. I've been watching you, remember? There is one last thing I have to say, then you three must really be on your way. I'm sorry for freezing your husband in carbonite," he quickly said and Leia could have laughed, except her father appeared genuinely sorry. "Now, go," he said. "They're waiting for you." Then, Anakin sunk back below the water's surface.


	3. Part Three

"I'm surprised _you_ didn't talk to him when you came here," Leia said to her brother, speaking rather quickly. Luke figured his sister was nervous in anticipation of who else they could visit. She needed to talk; she needed the distraction. Luke, for his part, was content to join her if it meant calming her nerves somewhat. He understood how she felt, how bizarre and insane and overwhelming it all was.

Luke first responded with a shrug, then said, "I hadn't been expecting to talk to anyone here."

"Which of them did you see first?" she asked, suddenly calm her as her pace slowed rapidly.

"Anakin," Luke told her. "Ben and I were just walking when . . ." Luke's gaze wandered to the edge of the lake and he told her simply, "I saw him."

Leia's gaze followed his, her eyes sad as she thought about her long lost boy. "I want to talk to him again," she said so softly Luke almost didn't hear her. "I want to see my baby boy again."

Luke nodded. "We'll see him, I'm sure of it."

"Mom."

Leia turned at the sound of her daughter's voice and found her crouching by the lakeside. Leia came to join her just as she continued, "I found him." Sure enough, there, floating at the lake's edge, was her baby boy. Leia didn't hesitate to say his name, joyfully pronouncing the same name she'd said earlier. "Anakin," she cried through tears of relief at seeing her child once again. Then, icy blue eyes snapped open and his sandy, tousled hair rose above the water's surface and Leia was looking eye-to-eye with her youngest child.

"Mom?" he spoke first, his eyes wide. Surprised, perhaps. Or, more so, happy. But, then, his gaze grew fearful and he asked quickly, "What are you doing here? You aren't-?"

"No, Anakin," Luke assured him, squatting down beside his own sister. "We're fine. We're here to see you, actually. Your mother wanted to come."

Anakin's expression melted and he smiled softly at Leia. "Just when I was about to tell Uncle Luke he needs to make friends with the living."

"Yes. It looks like I'm the guilty one this time. But when your uncle told me that he saw you . . . " Leia choked on those words and her tears returned. For a few seconds, she could only stare at her son and, in support, he smiled back. That smile she missed . . .

Slowly, Jaina crouched at Leia's other side and marveled at the sight of her brother. "Hey, little brother," she smiled and Anakin turned his neck to look at her. He beamed back at her. "Hey, sis."

"We miss you. Mom and I needed to come here." As Jaina told him this, Leia burst into another fit of tears and Jaina just pulled her closer, side-hugging her while she continued talking to her brother. "Just once. Even Dad would have if he could."

"I'm sure he would. Tell him, then, that I miss him too."

Jaina gave him a little frown. "Hey! How about a few words for your mother here first."

Leia smiled, but Anakin nodded and began again. "First of all, Mom, you're making this really hard with your crying."

Leia laughed, wiping her eyes with a hand. "I'm sorry. Anakin, when I felt you die," her voice squeaked on the last word. "I was devastated, Anakin. My little boy dead!" More hot, salty tears spilled down her cheeks. "I don't want to let go," she cried. "I don't want to admit I'll never get you back. Especially now."

Her little boy smiled sadly. "You still have Jaina. And Dad and Uncle Luke." He stopped, eyeing the arm Jaina had draped across their mother's shoulders. "And something tells me you've learned to go on by falling back on who you have left."

Jaina cocked her head, considering. "Were we really that bad?"

Leia shrugged. "We were pretty bad."

Jaina shrugged, then held her mother closer. "That's right, Anakin. Mom's getting all mushy. If only you could see Dad. He's all romantic now with Mom." She shivered. "It's gross."

Leia pushed her, but not hard enough to break their hold. Anakin laughed quietly, watching the two. "Good. You shouldn't be so 'distraught', as you say-"

Luke interrupted him, raising a brow. "This is starting to sound awfully like the conversation I had with you."

Anakin shrugged. Well, you heard it from me. Apparently, Mom only came here for the same speech."

"Oh. The speech about the whole light not going out and all that?" Leia asked, but nodded. "I get it, Anakin, but you were my baby. You _are_ my baby. Me and everyone else who loved you will always love you and always mourn you and always think of you every day. Me, your father, sister, uncle, _Tahiri_. Not a day has passed by that we haven't thought about you and how much we miss you. And not a day will go by."

"I know, Mom, and there's nothing wrong with that. I guess. I'm just glad you and Tahiri are okay."

"We are."

Anakin gave his mother one last smile before quickly saying, "Then, we have no more to discuss. I love you, Mom. Be at peace." Then, Anakin sunk back below the water's edge.

"Hmph." Leia turned her neck to look at her daughter. Jaina frowned, staring at the spot where her brother had been. "Maybe we should have brought Tahiri with us."


End file.
